So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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