organizing the empties. That sober.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
