the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
