Sponge bath it is.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
