Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
