Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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