Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
