Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize