I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
