the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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