you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
