I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
