Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
