You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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