mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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