u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
