best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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