WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
