..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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