Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
