Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
