so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
