bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
