If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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