NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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