Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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