New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
