Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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