I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
