Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
