i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize