party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
