You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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