Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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