well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
