any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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