i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
