AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
