Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We're too hungover to prance.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
