Girls should come with a carfax report
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
