I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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