he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sext me about skeletons
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
