Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
