I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
