i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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