We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize