Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
