where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i permit you to call me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
