Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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