Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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