i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It was like getting head from an anaconda
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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