we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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