If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize