We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
