They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
