3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
