I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
