So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
