My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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