your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
