hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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