Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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