Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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