Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
