she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
