Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
